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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26871790">More</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinofwriting/pseuds/sinofwriting'>sinofwriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anti-Derek Shepherd, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I just want Jackson and Meredith to be together or at least have more scenes together, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:22:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26871790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinofwriting/pseuds/sinofwriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson and Meredith talk about her having a panic attack.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>(Mentioned) Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Jackson Avery/Meredith Grey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Meredith!” Jackson calls, following her down the long hallway, ignoring the looks from his colleagues. “Meredith, c’mon!” Just as he manages to catch up to her, she slips into a supply closet. He glances around, glaring at one the nurses who steps away from the nurses station towards Meredith, towards him. He sighs before tapping his knuckles against the door. “I’m coming in.” He warns her. “And you can’t stop me, these doors don’t have locks.” When he doesn’t hear anything, his hand drifts down and turns the knob, entering the small dark room. </p><p>He doesn’t give his eyes a chance to adjust, finding the light switch on the first try and flicking the lights on. His heart aches at the sight in front of him. Meredith is sitting on one of the step stools they keep in the closets, her head buried in her hands as her shoulders shake. Her breathing is shaky and becoming more strangled with every breath. </p><p>Jackson steps forward and squats, putting them on the same level. “I’m going to touch you, okay?” <br/>She nods.<br/>He slowly reaches forward, his dominant hand’s fingers wrapping around her right wrist and gently tugging until she lets him move it how he wants to. He guides her hand to his chest, resting it over his heart. </p><p>They stay like that for a good twenty minutes, Jackson not saying anything even when his knees begin to ache from the position. It’s not until Meredith’s breathing is regular and her pulse isn’t racing that the silence breaks. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Her voice is hoarse. <br/>He shakes his head, “Mer, it’s fine. You don’t have to apologize.” <br/>“Not for this.” She lifts her head, looking at him. “For yelling at you in the OR. That wasn’t okay and it wasn’t professional.” <br/>He chuckles, nodding. “It wasn’t.” Letting go of her hand that he kept a hold of the whole time, he cups her cheek. “You don’t have to apologize for yelling at me, when it’s for the sake of a patient. Especially when I’m being a jackass and refusing to listen to something that I need to hear.” He waits for her to nod, before he says what’s bugging him. “Mer, why did you think I would be upset?” He knows that’s what had driven her into a panic attack, not anything else. It was the fear that she had upset him, embarrassed him. <br/>“I’m not comparing, it’s just I still expect certain things to happen because of how our relationship worked.” The emphasis on our, doesn’t escape his notice and becomes clear to him that it’s not their relationship she’s referencing. <br/>“What?” He breathes, hand dropping from her face, anger bubbling inside of him as he realizes more about the past relationship between Meredith and Shepherd. </p><p>She swallows, “He got angry when I corrected him in front of people or interrupted him. He would yell and scream and then he would ignore me for a few days until I had apologized enough that he felt I had made up for embarrassing him, upsetting him.” The words are quiet, somehow soft and resigned.<br/>Jackson can’t help but grind his teeth together. The more he found out about how Shepherd had treated Meredith, the more he wants to take a baseball bat and bash his head in.</p><p>He hadn’t realized his eyes had shut, until they’re fluttering open at the feeling of arms wrapping around him. It’s awkward with him squatting and her leaning forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulls her forward before standing, the two stumbling slightly. But now, they’re pressed together and he can bury his face in her hair without worrying about straining his neck and she can hear his heart beating.</p><p>He wants to tell her that he wishes that they had met earlier in med school, that they had fallen in love then. Or during that one time when Meredith and Shepherd had broken up with what looked like no way they would ever get back together and he had been single. He wishes that it hadn’t taken them a decade. That she hadn’t gone through that for a decade.</p><p>“I love you.” He chooses to instead whisper. <br/>Her arms tighten around him and she raises her head slowly, to plant a kiss to his jaw. “I love you too.”</p>
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